CONflict

 Just a quick note before bed, dear reader. Exceptionally quick because I have already taken Melatonin and am feeling its effects.

INFJ, this meaningless assortment of Scrabble chaff is supposed to denote some aspect of my personality. And it does for better or worse. When it assigns a title after taking the quiz it is usually something like "The Ambassador," or "The Negotiator."

It is a role I find myself in increasingly at work. The issue is that while my personality is very good at smoothing over interpersonal conflicts it is also somewhat draining to my own social battery, and I do not enjoy it. especially since it is not in my job description. It leaves me somewhat drained, and I think there are some long-term effects that have me rethinking my position.

I find myself listening to melancholy Irish Punk music. My favorite song bar none in the Pouge's Fairytale of New York, and it is a song of beautiful conflict. harmonious conflict. Why can't more conflict be harmonious like two people who love and despise one another? 

I suppose there is some comfort in my skills being needed. I am far from useless, as I often fear. My presence is smooths things over, and I am glad of that. I believe that people walk individual paths that often intersect, when I meet others it is to serve some purpose. It is good to have a purpose.